Bingo - Finally I Got Placed In LTA!!

Yes, I got finally placed in Land Transportation Authority of Singapore (http://www.lta.gov.sg/) to work as an Engineer under the Division of Engineering for the Road Projects. More than to get a new job, it was a like a long awaited curiosity to know whether Am I fit enough for that position? And now it is a green signal. I was almost waiting to know the results more than a month. They have a very long procedure to take me in, which includes medical and security clearances. To my surprise they even went to the extent of checking the whereabouts of my father back at India and analyze the complete history of me before offering me a job.

The instant feeling that I am going to work for the first time in my career for a Government Organization which involves lot of engineering inputs makes me a bit more excited as well as cautious. I am hoping for the best and I believe I will put in my more than 100% effort to excel in the given job. Happiest part is, Net salary package is also in my expected range. But still I feel a bit heavy to make a shift from my present employer - JEL; it would be a heave of relief if everything goes well from now on and I make my shift very swiftly from JEL to LTA!

~~Confused~~

Every time and all the while, I have a very strong intentions thinking that only sky is the limit to all my imagination, expectation and ideas in the future. For some reason, I am feeling totally confused for the last couple of weeks.. I am always thinking about the future, the next year, the next month, the next week or at least the next minute rather than enjoying the beautiful present. I feel like I am being a biggest looser and cheating myself on many occasion doing wrong things knowingly with my fullest intention. I also feel that I am being overseen by almost all, as if I get no importance, as if there is no body in this world to really listen to me! Is it my mistake to be a don't care masters with all lovely smiles and enjoyment all the while? Does that make people to give a damn about me??? Afterall, it is my character! I have been like this all the while.. All this now had made me to put up a fake mask and act as a serious person, not representing my trueself to show the scoiety and the people, count on me too!! I know it not the right attitude, but only drastic changes like this will make people to realize the facts and understand others feeling, I guess it that way.. Normally I don't open up things very easily, even to my parents whatever difficulties I may face. But I broke out this time to my mom and she did consoled and backed up me as much as she could. She has always been my source of inspiration.. All in all, this is not "me" and having said all this I definitely don't want to continue anymore like this. Hope at least now I realize the truth, the present and be obliged to it!